Instead I sabotage myself, it's seems like I don't like myself because if I did, I wouldn't act so impulsive and do things I otherwise wouldn't. It's like my weight issue, if I really wanted to lose the weight like I say I do, I would change my life and make time for exercise.
So here I am once again, trying to talk myself into just feeling the pain so I can get through it to the other side. Every time I firmly focus, I get a blow; which I know means I'm on the right track. That does NOT make it one little bit easier.
Why does it have to be the people closest to us to deliver the blows, I know they don't mean to but it's so much harder to deal with. I know, I know, I know; if I can just deal with the challenge in a different way, I can progress.
There in lies my issue, why don't I want to progress? Why do I make everything about me with my friends. It's not all about me, people have problems or issues and I need to learn that just because I deal with things one way, does not mean it's right for others.
I just had an ah ha moment, I've been stressing out and allowing myself to get upset. I just realized I deal with my pain by talking, other people deal with it on their own. Neither way is wrong nor does either one mean that we're not important to each other.
I'm so glad I blogged tonight, I may not have solved everything but I seriously feel better with that one ah ha moment.