I thought I had this down, I learned this concept when I was 15 years old, I was living with my ex step mother Ruth and it was pretty unbearable. She was physically and verbally abusive. I was filled with anger towards her when one day I felt the need to pray, what I prayed for was just to be free of her, I wished her no harm, I just didn't want her to have control over me. I prayed every night, in six months I was free.
That's why this last week I have been thinking about how I need to be reminded of what I have learned and know from past experience. There is someone in my life that I need to forgive, I don't necessarily have to say it to her but for myself I need to forgive her. Part of me held back forgiving her because I thought I was in the right. Then I had a light bulb moment or an ah ha moment where it doesn't matter if I am right, what matters is that until I forgive her, she will be a part of my life and frankly I don't want that to happen.
I spent this weekend thinking about it and I realized how toxic it was for me to hold on to prove I was right, that she had intentionally wronged me to put herself in a good light. The fact that she did is neither here nor there ... what matters is that I forgive her and move on. Maybe if I forgive her, she will be able to move on too... I think we both need that.
I am feeling lighter already, I don't want the burden of being right to hold me back from being the best person that I can be. I hope that the next time a challenge comes up like this one that I will remember quicker and waste less time holding on to the need to be right... remembering to keep my heart open to forgiveness.
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