An Open Heart Forgives

I need to write about forgiveness, I have written about it many times but it has been on my mind a lot lately. I often think how grateful I am that I understand that forgiveness is not so much for the other person as it is to free our hearts and ourselves from an unhealthy relationship or situation.

I thought I had this down, I learned this concept when I was 15 years old, I was living with my ex step mother Ruth and it was pretty unbearable. She was physically and verbally abusive. I was filled with anger towards her when one day I felt the need to pray, what I prayed for was just to be free of her, I wished her no harm, I just didn't want her to have control over me. I prayed every night, in six months I was free.
Whenever I would come up against a challenge that entailed another person, I always took the forgiveness route because I did not want, nor do I want anyone to have that kind of control over me. I have friends that don't let go of it because they have felt wronged... which is true but holding on to being right and proving your point only holds you to the person all the more.

That's why this last week I have been thinking about how I need to be reminded of what I have learned and know from past experience. There is someone in my life that I need to forgive, I don't necessarily have to say it to her but for myself I need to forgive her. Part of me held back forgiving her because I thought I was in the right. Then I had a light bulb moment or an ah ha moment where it doesn't matter if I am right, what matters is that until I forgive her, she will be a part of my life and frankly I don't want that to happen.

I spent this weekend thinking about it and I realized how toxic it was for me to hold on to prove I was right, that she had intentionally wronged me to put herself in a good light. The fact that she did is neither here nor there ... what matters is that I forgive her and move on. Maybe if I forgive her, she will be able to move on too... I think we both need that.
Since I am choosing to rise above the challenges that I have dealt with and the ones that will come to me, I knew that until I could forgive her and wish her happiness, that I would not be able to grow to the next level. I do believe that forgiveness starts inside our heart which opens our mind and that frees us from being held back.

I am feeling lighter already, I don't want the burden of being right to hold me back from being the best person that I can be. I hope that the next time a challenge comes up like this one that I will remember quicker and waste less time holding on to the need to be right... remembering to keep my heart open to forgiveness.
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94 comments :

  1. When you forgive a great burden is lifted off you .I'm happy you have forgiven her.
    www.effortlesslady.com

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  2. The way you think makes me reassess everytime.
    You're right, forgiveness is more than towards the other, a personal concept.
    It does set us free.

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  3. It's not easy to forgive. But holding on to anger and feelings of revenge will get you nowhere.

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  4. Nice article Launna, have a great week!

    http://ladyparisienne.fr/

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  5. Nice post ♡
    it's not easy to forgive

    New post in
    Www.miharujulie.com

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  6. Nel tuo blog ci sono sempre cose interessanti.

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  7. Buon lunedì e buona settimana.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  8. It is not so easy to forgive anybody who already hurt me or put me in difficult situation. I try to forgive myself instead of somebody else. I am learning a lot from you.

    I love you


    Asep Haryono
    Indonesia

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  9. i agree with you sweetie
    http://tr3ndygirl.com
    a big
    kiss

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  10. I understand you, my sweet Launna!
    You've inspired me
    Have an awesome week
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    <a href="http://www.indiansavage.com”> Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion Blog </a>

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  11. =) When we hold onto anger, we only damage our own souls, eh? It's such an easy trap to fall into, which is why we have to constantly claw our way back out. Here's to your words of wisdom and making our hearts soft enough to let go.

    Unleashing the Dreamworld

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  12. I have to admit that I let go of my mother many years ago but I have never forgiven her and I'm not sure I can but you have certainly given me something to think about. I do know letting go and walking away was the best thing I ever did for myself. Fingers crossed for you!

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  13. Such a positive message and insight. Thanks for sharing :)
    Ariel

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  14. Hi Launna, Yet another inspiring post from you. I always liked the quote about forgiveness that you featured here too: "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Sometimes we know all these quotes but at times, it is really hard to practise it. It can be done but it might probably take lots of time.

    RYC:
    Thanx Launna. Ooh, so glad to see so many ladies complimenting the hubz new hair cut. His hair grows so quickly that he has since cut his hair another time. Yes, I'm so glad I wrote that Blog comments DOs and DON'Ts post for I've made a lot more new and sincere blog friends after that! So happy to know you this way too!

    RYC:
    I'm glad you picked out the part on expectations and I agree with you. Usually I try not to have expectations so that I won't be disappointed but for food, I can't practise the same concept. Haha... I want my food as how I expect especially if I know how a dish should taste like. I would definitely opt for window hotels in future after this experience. I didn't know about the safety must-haves of windows in Canda but you are quite right now that I think about it.

    Jo
    Jo's Jumbled Jardinière

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  15. You're so positive! Sometimes it is good to forgive someone.
    But you have to feel good about it!

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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  16. Forgiveness is a must not only light but free as well. Good for you to do that Launna. Life is already heavy and difficult if everyone in the world knows what to forgive - that's going to be such a blessed. I've been always forgiving people who those not nice to me myself too - because at the end of the day, we are the only one who can make us happy:). What are you up too this week? me and my hubby are going to the boys school flied trip tomorrow to visit a pumpkin's farm and feed cows. Its going to be so much fun with the boys' classmates and other parents as well:).

    Wishing you a beautiful new week Launna.!

    xoxox http;//www.attraction2fashion.com

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  17. Great inspirations :)

    http://retromaggie.blogspot.pt/

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  18. I agree with you. Forgiving some one is not only good for them but for us too. Great Post.!

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  19. it's not easy to forgive..you must be positive.. <3

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  20. ...What matters is that until I forgive her, she will be a part of my life and frankly I don't want that to happen....
    The same is happening to me, Launna, I have to thank you so much for this post. I think you're right right right. I have to pray to be free, not to be overwhelmed by this person and let him free to go his way.
    A big big hug from Italy, Launna!!!!

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  21. thanks for being so sincere and share your experience. I agree with you. Forgiveness is the solution.
    kss a lot
    new post: http://tupersonalshopperviajero.blogspot.com.es/2014/10/red-musk-parfum-by-body-shop.html

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  22. I love that feeling - feeling lighter because a burden has been lifted.

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  23. Oh Launna, I am so, so sorry about what you went through. The fact that you prayed not wishing ill of her but simply to be released..that is so very gracious.
    Holding grudges is a terrible burden..and just because we choose to forgive doesn't make us any less right about the situation, we just choose to be the bigger person and move on to live free and no longer overwhelmed. I am so happy you do that :)
    I know exactly what you mean about feeling lighter...I love that feeling. I feel it when I leave Confession, when I see someone happy...it's a wonderful feeling :) God bless ♡

    MJ // www.littlepandacrafts.blogspot.com

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  24. That sounds pretty exited for the two of you and I am so happy to hear that you and Valentina are happy. Enjoy the Haloweens fun week Launna. I want to hand out the candy but my boys are too excited to just hand out the candy. We will be heading to the street of Halloween:) every houses in the street next to us are decorated so fancy and also so scary too but kids love that:). Good night my Launna. Talk soon. Xxxoo Tanya.

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  25. I go by what Mother Teresa said!! It sure is very important to forgive when in Love!

    xoxo Chaicy - Style.. A Pastiche!

    SAP on Facebook

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  26. I love your positive message and all the quotes that you Have shared.... it's no easy to forgive, I'm learning a lot from you, My sweet friend!
    Love, Paola.
    Expressyourself
    My Facebook

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  27. Wonderful thoughts Launna ,you are a great Woman! Also love the helpful Quotes :)

    Lovely Greets from Vienna ,kisses :*

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  28. Il tuo blog è sempre bellissimo.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  29. Yep--you're the prisoner when you don't forgive. One of my favorite sayings is, "Resentment is setting myself on fire in the hopes that the smoke will bother you." There are variations out there but the point is, that anger and resentment only hurts you, not the other person. When you realize that, it's freeing in a way.

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  30. Have an awesome day sweetheart
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    <a href="http://www.indiansavage.com”>Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary- Fashion Blog</a>

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  31. Such a great post! I love it:)

    Theprintedsea.blogspot.com

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  32. Querida Lau o perdão espontâneo é o mais fiel o mais sincero é perdão da alma por quando você perdoa DEUS triplica todas as suas benção em tudo de bom que o seu coração almeja e de imediato você também é perdoa pela graça divina do nosso DEUS, o perdão é uma dadiva que nem todo mundo tem, mais ponha na sua cabeça DEUS te deu essa dadiva e você com certeza já estas perdoada, perdoá sempre é dadiva de DEUS, bjs. Siga e curta o meu canal Nekitareis

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  33. Holding it or keeping it to ourselves will only weigh us down, its better to forgive yet its very hard. Im glad you find a place in your heart to forgive her, its a courage and a brave act to once again forgive those who hurt us. Im proud of you Luana

    Visit my blog: www.sarahrizaga.blogspot.com

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  34. I think this is so important Launna and I'm so sorry for what you had to go through as a 15 year old with your ex stepmom. To have that kind of wisdom as a teen is so strong of you and that you were able to pray for 6 months until you were free of it. Forgiving someone - even if they don't realize you're upset with them can be such a weight lifted off you as you mentioned!

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  35. Sometimes it is so hard to forgive, but often holding onto grudges is only hurting ourselves!
    www.amemoryofus.com

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  36. hi launna... what a nice thought.. a simple word but have deeply meaning and difficult to do that is 'forgiveness' forgiveness come from the hearth. .wow you are really kind not only forgiveness, you hope happiness come for her also.launna i always enjoyed to read all you post, i m learn from ur life and thas teach me to thankful for my life.

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  37. Launna, this is so true. Holding onto anger just festers inside of us, but when we can forgive the one who caused it, we can let go of it and move on.

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  38. Forgiveness is something we should all practice, but it's often not easy.
    I admire you.
    R

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  39. even though it's difficult, forgiveness is the key to a peaceful self and perhaps, to a better world. :)

    xoxo, rae
    http://www.raellarina.net/

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  40. I agree with you! Forgiveness is necessary for our hearts.

    XOXO!

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  41. It's true when they say you feel like a real weight over your life has been lifted when you forgive someone. I've done it several times, and I know that feeling well. :)

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  42. Oh, Forgiveness is a powerful thing, but it takes awhile to feel it in our hearts. Perhaps, it is an on going battle. Now that I get older, sometimes, I think I might actually forget before I actually forgive.

    Its just, well..people from my past who are a lot older now too, and I see they have actually forgot..and I have to accept that. Oh, the twist and turns of our lives. Sometimes, those ghosts aren't easy to visit. Keep Writing and moving forward!

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  43. I am continually impressed with how open minded and kind hearted you are. The fact that you always try to rise above and do the right thing really in an inspiration. Sometimes we forget that forgiving is as much for us as for the other person. This was a great reminder.

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  44. Hi sweetie
    Have an adorable day
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    <a href="http://www.indiansavage.com”>Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary- Fashion Blog</a>

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  45. Great post!! Love your blog by the way!

    SSSx
    Latest rather cool giveaway on Style StreetStalker: http://bit.ly/ZXl4uZ

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  46. sweetie
    thanks for your comment <3
    have a nice day
    http://tr3ndygirl.com

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  47. Querida Lu DEUS te abençoe neste belo dia, Siga e curta o meu canal Nekitareis,

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  48. Buon lavoro e a presto, ti abbraccio.

    WWW.ANGELICHIC.COM

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  49. You are such a good person. To forgive is very difficult. I think some people don't deserve to be forgiven.

    Jasmine ♥

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  50. You are such an amazing and strong person.

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  51. I will read your post in few minutes, I answer to your comment here also: Thank you, I use burgundy and black a lot during autumn. xoxo ^_^

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  52. Hello Launa! Firstly, thank you so much for your concern and messages while I was away. I have been really tied up with work, and there has been just too much burden. I hope things change soon…If not, I will need to change jobs! I can't take the stress anymore!! Sigh. And i am so happy that you are already in your mid-term now!! Is it treating you well? Or causing more stress than usual? :) And now, regarding this post, wow launna, I am indeed learning a lot from you! I usually do forgive others, but it takes a very long time for me to do so. I end up blaming myself for their their stupid dumb mistakes. But you're right, once you forgive someone, you become "free".. :) I hope you're doing great, Launna! And Thank you so so much for always being here for me! <3 Love you!! :)

    http://anshul90.com

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  53. Wishing you an amazing day babe
    Kisses
    Maggie D.
    <a href="http://www.indiansavage.com”>Maggie Dallospedale fashion diary- Fashion Blog</a>

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  54. Querida Lau DEUS te abençoe eternamente.
    Siga e curta o meu canal Nekitareis

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  55. I read a quote once that said "forgiving someone is like setting a prisoner free, and realizing that the prisoner was you"...

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  56. All of these quotes are so good and inspiring. I love to think reading this.
    xxx
    mari
    www.ilovegreeninspiration.com

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  57. I forgive people easily but I think that they don't forgive me that easy. Hugs

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  58. I understand you, hun, it's not easy to forgive, but i think it's healty!
    Your post is very inspirational! :)
    xxx
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

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  59. I so agree with you Launna. I heard it said that to not forgive is to break the bridge that we need to cross. Hugs girl. Have a great weekend.

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  60. Hi my lovely Launna. I'm about heading to bed. And just wanted to come by to say hello and thank you for stopped by:). I didn't realized that tomorrow is a Halloween night:). Hope you don't give yourself of the hard time for your studying weekend:). We will be have lots of fun on a Halloween night. Enjoy ur time with Valentina too. Good night. Take care of your self. Good night Luanna Kissess.

    Tanya.

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  61. Forgiveness is not an easy thing, but it is necessary if we want to feel free. Keeping anger and hatred in our hearts is like a cancer, it will devour us and do much damage.

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  62. Dear Launna, I wish you a relaxed, blessed weekend. I hope the sky will be blue and will inspire your big big heart :)

    xoxo
    www.bellezzefelici.blogspot.com

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  63. forgiveness is so important. I have a person in my life that adds unnecessary and unwanted negative energy too. and I've been struggling with forgiving her too. I want an acknowledgement of what happened. or I think I need it before I can move on. but I don't know. the way you put it, to let go because otherwise you allow those people into your life, that's a good way to look at it...

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  64. It's good that you got to be free from your step mother. Hugs!

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  65. Hi sweet Launna,
    thank you for your words.
    You touch my heart.
    Have an awesome friday
    Kisses
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  66. Hi Launna,
    Thank you so much for your words. You touch my heart.
    Have an awesome friday
    Kisses
    ps: I'm sorry for wrong account
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  67. Passando para ti deseja um bom final de semana cheio de muitas alegria.
    canal:https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/videos

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  68. Great post! Awesome quotations too. I just followed you on bloglovin. Hope you'll do the same. Thanks! :)


    - GARCONDAILY.COM - men's fashion and lifestyle blog

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  69. How interesting Launna! It's like you read my mind. Just few days ago i was able to let go of persons who wronged me intentionally. I have been angry for the longest time, i was so consumed with bitterness that i even didn't like anyone with same name(s). I am so grateful for that load has been lifted from my chest, for sure i was the prisoner. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Anne
    http://www.liebeladies.com

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  70. I love, love, LOVE that Max Lucado quote. Beautiful, and oh so true. We just have to remember that it's more important to be kind than to be right. Forgiveness is the kind thing to do, both for yourself and the other person.

    Happy Halloween!

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  71. Beautiful post! Forgiveness is not easy, but it's so worth the effort.It feels like a stone falling of your chest, doesn't it?

    Bella Pummarola

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  72. Great post! Somehow I can relate to this. :)

    Followed you on G+ and Bloglovin! I hope you'll do the same. <3
    FOXMYSTYLE- Men's Fashion and Design Blog

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  73. Passando para ti deseja que DEUS seja contigo por onde andares.
    Canal:https://www.youtube.com/user/NekitaReis/videos

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  74. Thats right Launna....If we want love we must first learn how to forgive somebody
    keep in touch
    www.hairfashionbeautyblog.blogspot.in

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  75. Thank you for your comment! Did you celebrate Halloween?
    xoxo

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  76. Batom é tudo de bom, né?! *___*

    O perdão é necessário em qualquer situação. Mas digo por experiência própria que perdoar não é assim tão simples! É complicado deixar as mágoas de lado e libertar o coração!

    Ótimo sábado, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  77. Thanks for your lovely weekend's wished my lovely Launna. I hope you do the same. Have fun with your studying over the weekend. Don't forget to relax yourself not only blogging only:).

    Hugs and kisses

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  78. sweet Launna, have an Happy Halloween
    http://tr3ndygirl.com
    kiss

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  79. Thanks for your comment on my blog! You're so sweet.
    Hope to know you better.
    Have a nice weekend!
    Kisses

    Beth
    Rebirth - Beth Kubler diary

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  80. the third quote says it all♥ this post is so beautiful Launna!:)

    www.Lorietta.cz

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  81. You have such a good heart, Launna. I wish I could be as forgiving as you are. That's one thing that is hard for me to do when I have been wronged by someone else. I may forgive but unfortunately, I never forget.

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  82. Forgive people is not easy! You have to think good about it! Hope everything comes all right! Big hugs!

    xoxo
    Dascha

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤