It seems like every other blog that I read today was about my decision... most of them made me cry. They reminded me of what I'm giving up and how much I want it to be different... this is why I wish I could do it right now... before I change my mind again.
Why do some changes in our lives have to be so painful? I know there isn't an answer for that... it's basically a rhetorical question. I want to understand why I have to feel like I am losing a part of myself, so that I can learn whatever lesson it is that I need to learn? I know that other people are going through far more difficult things than I am going through right now... I know many of these people. Because of this, I want to try to minimize my trials but I realized that even if my trials are no where near as difficult as what other people have to deal with, they are for me.
So I have the right to be upset, apprehensive, nervous... etc. What someone else is going through might not even affect me, that is why I am going through this trial and other people have different trials. What I learned in the last couple of days is that I need to stop measuring my trials against others and stop belittling myself for my feelings, I have a right to those emotions as we all do... I need to stop minimizing feelings.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥