The ups and downs I have gone through this past year and a half have been incredibly challenging, if I am being truthful and that is the only way I want to live my life, I constantly changed my mind over and over. There were days I thought, I can do this... it's David... I can be friends no matter what. Then there were days that I just wanted to tell him I never wanted to speak to him again.
Part of me even thought I didn't deserve to have him, he has high ideals and I have messed up royally, over and over... It's not true though, I did deserve to be with him, just because I made wrong choices throughout my life doesn't mean I shouldn't be loved by someone good, kind and caring.
This has been the most difficult thing I have ever done, staying friends with someone I love and not being able to be with him... I cannot even begin to explain how sad and overwhelming it was and can still be... I guess that is why most people that end a relationship, end the friendship too... Now that we have got through most of the rough spots I am grateful that we worked through it and I would never want to lose his friendship now.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥