Sleep Sooner Then Later

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore.

I can't keep up without sleeping, I am not even sure I am going to be coherent... for a little over a month, I might have had two nights where I actually got any real sleep.  Usually I have sporadic and broken sleep which makes makes me question how my day at work will go, I will either be so tired, I will be giddy or so tired I will be emotional.  Lately with less and less sleep I am somewhat more emotional, I need to find something that will help me get some sleep so that I will be able to function or at least focus on something other than the fact that I haven't slept.
I remember in my twenties and thirties I could sleep, no problem.  I think I really messed myself up in my late thirties and took on two jobs and worked for 55-60 hours per week for the next three years.  Finally everything came to a head there and I ended up only having to work one job... that was about the time I had Valentina, I had over a year off and I righted by body again by sleeping a lot.  Then I started working but that wasn't enough, I had to change jobs and I started working crazy hours again, upwards of 70 hours per week for a little over two years.

By the time Valentina was to start school I knew I could not keep up with that so I found my current job... which although it has it's drawback with the travel, at least I am not working 55-70 hours per week.  Lately the fact that I am not sleeping makes me think if I have to be awake this long, I should be accomplishing something, other than wasting time.  However; the massive lack of sleep is leaving me unfocused and not being able to actually complete a task simply.
I think I know the answer but frankly with the lack of sleep I am wondering how clearly I can actually think. I know today was tough for me, I was just so tired and everything that happened centered on what I was aiming not to think about.  I have an appointment with my doctor in two weeks, which seems a long way off without sleep.  Sometimes my mind just gets racing and I can't settle it down enough to rest.  If I don't feel rested in the morning  then I am going to see if I can get a quick appointment at the end of the day with my doctor.

I just don't think I should go much longer without addressing it more seriously, I can tell it is affecting me more and more daily... I haven't broken down by eating more or not exercising, I am still fitting this in daily, I am dedicated as I have tenacity.  Right now that is the only thing that I have control over in my life, I don't want to give up on that and ever fall back to where I was... No matter how things are in my life at the moment, becoming healthy by eating right and exercising, has become one of the best decisions I ever made in my life and stuck with.
Each day I get up in the morning, I am grateful that whatever it was that got me started, I am grateful that it did because at the moment, this is the one positive thing in my life that makes me feel good.  I have to have something, writing has always been my other outlet and I love having this as an outlet.  I just never want to give up exercising as it helps to release some of the stress and a lot of the weight loss.  I do know that to keep this up, I am going to have to find a way to sleep and sooner then later.

24 comments :

  1. You definitely don't want to give up the exercising since you've come so far. Hopefully your doctor can put you on a prescription sleep aid.

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    1. Thank you Keith, I don't ever want to quit exercising... I love how it makes me feek ;-)

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  2. Isn't it amazing how good it feels to be fit? And you're right, that can't be taken away from us.

    My sleep cycles have gone on rollercoaster rides too over the years. Hoping you get some snooze time soon!

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    1. Thank you Rosey, once I centered on that... things really changed... I love feeling fit ;-)

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  3. good luck with getting sleep! i use melatonin sometimes.. its a supplement you can buy at a drugstore and works =)

    www.lesley-kim.com

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    1. Thank you Lesley, I sure I hope I gets some sleep too... I am going to try the melatonin, maybe it will work over the sleeping pills... :-/

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  4. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much with your sleep cycle, Launna. Insomnia is so frustrating. I've had times when I can't sleep because my mind is racing too. A few things that have helped me, drinking chamomile tea in the evening, taking a warm bath about two hours before I plan to sleep to help me relax, and listening to either very soft music or to nature sounds on a tape (ocean/beach sounds or rain storm sounds, etc.) as I'm trying to fall asleep. I don't know if you have tried any of these things or if they would help, but thought I'd suggest them just in case. I hope the Dr. can find something that will help you.

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    1. Thank you Daisy, I don't have that luxury of time to relax unfortunately. I don't make it home until near 6 pm, then I am out the door to the gym and not home until 8:30. I get home and try to unwind a little and then finally go to sleep.... I think you are right though, if I could just have some relax time...

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  5. all d best with your sleep launna...
    www.hairfashionbeautyblog.blogspot.in

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    1. Thank you Kriti... I am going to try a few of these suggestions... :)

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  6. If I ran as much as you did, I'd sleep like a baby. But you are a mom and a very active lady, I suppose it comes with the territory, just try to take it easy Launna. Love.

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    1. Thank you Petronela, you would think I would be zonked after my full day... instead the moment I have some downtime my mind starts racing and that is what stops me from sleeping... I am going to try a few of the suggestions here though... :)

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  7. Sleeplessness can be painful. I've observed that even when at times we're way too tired, we seem to loose the feel to sleep as the mind wants to keep up the pace.
    You can always stress yourself a little bit more and see yourself falling asleep in the middle of the process.

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    1. Thanks Purple Assassin, I have a few ideas here that I am going to try out... if they don't work, I will definitely see my doctor... :-/

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  8. My love for sleep is unrequited these day :( I can barely sleep at night.

    www.meemmakeup.blogspot.com

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    1. Awe... it's awful isn't it? Thank you Mariam :-)

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  9. So far it seems that the lack of sleep is stress related or like something is really bothering you! Go talk with a doctor and maybe find alternative solutions to pills. Pills are drastic, effective but should be the last resort. And if your sleep deprivation is psychological your body will still find a way to express the discomfort. I hope you get over it soon and sleep peacefully again!

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    1. My lack of sleep is definitely emotional... I'm at the crossroads that I could care less what I take to sleep... just as long as I sleep...:-/

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    1. Thank you Nameless.... how I wish I could sleep right now too :-(

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  11. You have to get sleep. I hope someone can help soon. It is just so hard on you when you can't sleep. I remember when I was going through menopause and I layed awake at nights. Work was miserable and I was grumpy. Maybe you should try some meditation and soft music before going to bed.i think there are probably some guided meditations on the internet.

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    1. Thank you Betty.. I take medication now... my mind won't stop racing... I need to be able to talk it out with someone who won't judge me.....

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    2. I hope that no one would judge you. They haven't walked in your shoes. I do know that some people are judgmental and that's sad.

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    3. Yes but unfortunately people do judge us, people that are even close to us and have watched us walk in those shoes... some people are more judgmental that I thought and that is sad....

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