Facing What Is Real

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore.

Some things have changed drastically in my life in the past week, hence why I took a break from blogging and social media.  All the changes were causing me to lose more sleep than I normally do and frankly I can barely function on the little bit of sleep I am usually able to get.  Add into that one more overly stressful issue and I was lucky to be getting a couple of hours of broken sleep each night, even with the sleeping pills my doctor had given me. Wednesday night I was near my breaking point, I had only slept two hours the night before and not all together, I then went to work because I am a single mama and I cannot afford to take off unpaid time, no matter what.  I also had set up some times to visit some ladies from our church earlier in the week for that night.

I know I could have cancelled and I had thought about it as my nerves were raw and the smallest thing could send me over the edge.  I went for the visits though and I ended up being grateful that I did, it changed my perspective on an issue that I felt so totally out of control with... I was told about a talk that was given at one of our church functions; many times I have been told about talks and thought... hmmm, I should read that, this one really peaked my curiosity.  I came away from the visits exhausted but uplifted and when I got home, I took a sleeping pill and drifted off to sleep, now I didn't sleep through the whole night but I definitely got more rest then the previous nights.  On the way to work, I searched for the talk on my phone and read it, it resonated with me in a way it may not have for other people.

That is the thing about talks, each of us gets different information and ideas as they pertain to our situations. What I learned from this talk is that this earthly life is a blip, it is just here for the now, the eternity is what is important and everything works itself out in the eternities... What I mean by that is that just because something does not work out the way we want it to here, does not mean that it won't be different there.  So I wrote on my Facebook wall, 'Yours for now, mine for an eternity' ... some people questioned me about what this meant.  For me, it means I need to stop worrying about now and everything will take care of itself. Nothing more, nothing less. 
I also need to write another thing, in this day of information and technology, unless you are just talking to someone, everything is documented somewhere.  I know that and this is why I am very careful about what I say and who I say it to.  I only speak my heart to people that I truly trust ... as well if anyone says anything to me, they can know that it will never go anywhere... I can be trusted fully.  Unfortunately I have trusted the wrong people in the past but I have lived and learned through that, that is why I now have a very small circle of trusted friends.

I see my doctor in November again and I am going to talk to her about seeing someone I can talk to ... On the council of a very good and trusted friend, I am going to find someone I can talk to about all of the changes that I have had to deal with in the past couple of years.  This good friend is right, it is always good to speak to someone who is not emotionally involved in your situation, it could give a new light on some trials and issues I have had to deal with... I am really grateful that there is not the stigma that there used to be about getting counselling like there was many years ago.  Only good can come from this, if anything it will give me a safe place to say all that I feel.

My blog is kind of that place, only it is opened to whoever wants to read it... which is fine, I will always write here openly and honestly as that is who I am.  I think I need to reiterate something here, just to make myself totally clear.  I am losing weight and I am continuing on my path to lose weight and get healthy for me and for me alone.  I am NOT doing this for anyone, as I have stated to some people, if I was doing this for someone or something, I would not be able to sustain it.... I am doing this for me.
Also, my blog is about how I feel inside, that is why it goes up and down, I write down whatever I am feeling at any given time... I write from the heart and maybe I shouldn't always write what is in my heart all the time. Unfortunately that is me, I write what I feel, I also say what I feel too... I know that it can be hard for people, especially the people that are close to me.  I will make a concerted effort to not write about those people so much in the future but I will always write about myself.  This is where I have my voice, Andrey and other people tried to take that away from me in the past...

As with life, friendships go in up and down phases too... I believe if you are really friends, that time will work out any issues that might come between you.  Just as life issues get worked out in time... I make mistakes, we all make mistakes but I believe in forgiving and I believe that I can be forgiven too.  Sometimes when we are hurting on the inside, it blinds us to what is real.  We don't always want to see the real because it can hurt a lot but I am looking at the real, I am facing it, if I didn't I couldn't be successful in my life style changes.

58 comments :

  1. I'm wishing you all the best with your struggle! I know you're gonna make it!

    http://latroublemaker.blogspot.gr/

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  2. I am sure you will come out of everything as a much more stronger person..
    All the best.
    Last day to enter my migmon sunglasses giveaway. Please do enter..
    http://www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com/2013/10/mignon-mignon-sunglasses-giveaway.html?m=0
    Kisses,
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com

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  3. Isn't it funny how sometimes we dread doing something or going somewhere, but we force ourselves to go anyway, and it turns out to be a very good experience for us. That's what the talk from your church function sounds like it was for you. Counselling has helped a lot of people that I know. I applaud your decision to get in touch with someone you can talk to. It all goes along with the idea of taking good care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hugs to you, Launna.

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    1. Thank you so much Daisy, I am taking a good friends suggestion... I do think they are right... I need to take care of myself and find someone to talk things out with... :)

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  4. Best wishes from me. Thank you once more for the book that you have sent. Thank you for your time!! Take care..

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    1. Thank you Sangay... I appreciate the best wishes... I give the same to you too ;-)

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  5. I think you're blogging for all the right reasons my friend. We lose the true purpose of our blog when we start blogging for others as opposed to for ourself.

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    1. Thank you Keith... I needed to hear that today :-)

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  6. Your honesty is touching, Launna.

    I had one blog in the past wherein I knew I overshared some things about my personal life and I ended up offending my loved ones, although that was not my intention because blogging is very therapeutic for me. I had to set that to private and changed blogs a couple of times. I am now more careful of what I write about because I no longer want to hurt other people especially the ones who matter to me.

    I honestly haven't visited my therapist for two years. I don't know, I've been feeling stubborn lately. I hope I'll find the courage to do it because counseling really helped me a lot in the past.

    Wishing you all the best! Much love and God bless! ♡ :-)

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    1. Thank you Irene... I'm stubborn myself.... I won't make this blog private... I will just write less about them. I only know how to write about me and yes writing here is therapeutic... I won't give that up but I will be more careful in the future...

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  7. I am sure you will come out, Launna... because you are a strong woman!!!
    My best wishes to you, kisses & hugs from Italy!!!!

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    1. Thank you Paola, I am hoping I am strong enough to deal with all the changes that I have to deal with... kisses and hugs back to you from Canada :)

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  8. Dearest Launna, maybe try to relax for at least half of a day, just go somewhere to sort out what's happening, sometimes we should stop and step back in order to make a huge jump. You will manage for sure, just need to have fresh thoughts. Good luck and all the best!

    Have a good week ahead!
    http://lavenderloafers.com

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    1. Thank you Lavender... you are so kind... I do need to take a step back before I can move forwards...:-/

      Have a good week ahead too ;-)

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  9. Glad to see that you are well, Launna.
    Trust in God alone, people always disappointed, but he does not!

    As for what you write here on your blog, the name says "Letters Launna", so you have to write what you feel and want.
    Be happy, my flower.
    Take care of yourself.
    Kisses ever.

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    1. Thank you Jaqueline...people do disappoint .... and people wonder why I don't want to take a chance again. Being single will be easier and yes.. this is my blog. ;-)

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    2. So Launna, Be happy in your choice.
      Keep writing on your blog, it makes us happy

      ;)

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    3. Thank you girl... I won't stop writing... this is who I am... :)

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  10. Thanks for your lovely comment


    http://www.facebook.com/AmandaChicFashionRoomLounge?ref=hl
    twitter & instagram : @fashionrlounge
    Fashion room lounge

    A chic kiss ;)

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  11. Beautiful words <3 Wish you the best :)

    I liked your Facebook-page :)

    xoxo
    www.its-dash.com

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    1. Thank you Dascha... that's very sweet of you to say ;-)

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  12. Ho Launna! Tnx for your funny comment on my last post!!!
    Have a lovely day doll!!!!

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    1. Thank you Paola... I am a little to curvy for a straight skirt... that's okay... I love my curves ;-)

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  13. Don't worry! Make lists of what you need to do, so you can clean your brains a little bit. Hope you have good nights in the future!

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    1. Thank you Marion... it would help if some people were not so judgemental. People I never thought would be....

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  14. Replies
    1. I agree with what Douglas says too... I'm one of those people who make my dreams a reality... It might take longer but it always happens...

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  15. I like your blog just as it is. I get naysayers too over at my place, and I'm lucky that it just rolls off. I just figure there are sooooooo many blogs that if they don't like mine, they can easily find another that they do. :)


    I am glad you're staying true to who you are. That's one of the reasons I come to visit!

    Have a great week!

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    1. Thank you Rosey, it's people close to me... I won't write about them... nor will I take down any of the posts... I never lie, I tell it all from my honest view....

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  16. You've been through so much and proved that you are one of the strongest and power yourself as a life facing I am so are you, I know, you will be able to handle it. I really am sorry about your hard time sleeping is still bothering you, I do know how your pain is, It happened once with me. My really best wish goes to you!

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

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    1. Thank you Tanya... everything comes around eventually... I'll sleep again... things will be as they should be... you are a sweetie ;-)

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  17. I think you have a good take on blogging. Also, seeing someone about life issues is a good idea. Often they can help provide you with tools to help you better cope.
    You take care.
    R

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    1. Thank you Rick.... I really appreciate that ;-)

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  18. beautiful essay and statements.
    thanks for your comment!

    x
    dahi

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  19. Coragem! Temos que ter força para enfrentar a vida!

    Ótima terça, Launna!

    Beijo! ^^

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  20. Counseling is great for all sorts of reasons. I've been going for several years and, like you said, just to talk to someone not emotionally attached to the situation. I always leave feeling refreshed and with a clear head. I wish you the best.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment... just keepin it real :-)

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  21. I really hope you'll find what you're looking for. Life can be very overwhelming sometimes but stay strong!I agree that having someone to talk to is necessary sometimes but be prepared to hear truths you've been avoiding or won't like :p (Reason why I avoid therapy)

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    1. Thank you Anna... I've already learned some hard truths.. sad ones... I do need someone to talk to, someone who will be objective. My life has been turned upside down :-(

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  22. I know how tough it is to function on no sleep and everything small can seem big, things get really disorienting. I think you already know, it'll pass, you just have to wait it out. Keep writing, it helps.

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    1. Thank you Ryan... I have been getting some sleep finally... I just wish I was less meloncholy....hopefully one day.... :-/

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  23. great post and it's very well written.i hope that you will feel better soon and that your sleep comes back!stay strong

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    1. Thank you so much Sammie, I really appreciate the comment ;-)

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  24. A big kiss from Italy to my dear blogger friend Launna!!!!!

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    1. Thank you Paola... a big kiss from Canada xox

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  25. Thanks for your lovely comment

    http://www.facebook.com/AmandaChicFashionRoomLounge?ref=hl
    twitter & instagram : @fashionrlounge
    Fashion room lounge

    A chic kiss ;)

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  26. Hi Launna! Thank you for lovely comment on my blog, really appreciate it

    http://lavenderloafers.com

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  27. lovely look

    http://www.facebook.com/AmandaChicFashionRoomLounge?ref=hl
    twitter & instagram : @fashionrlounge
    Fashion room lounge

    A chic kiss ;)

    ReplyDelete

I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤