I am realizing I do that because I do not trust my own instincts. So when I ultimately fail, it is then that I can say, well it wasn't my choice. That was because of a person or a circumstance, not because of me. That way I don't have to take on the truth... the truth that I always had the choice. I just never made it... I never made a choice in anything in my life.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield