The Choice Is Mine Whether It's Good Or Bad

First an update on my leg, I finally could not handle the pain, I made an appointment with my doctor.  I saw her this evening, not only did my cholesterol pills leave my legs weak as they can cause major muscle damage.  I was lucky to catch it so early, it has not done long term damage... all my blood work came back excellent.  Also, I have damaged my knee and I will have to use a cane, ugh... nothing like a cane to make you look aged.  I love that I look a good 6 to 8 years younger than I am but I won't look young with a cane.

It should only be for six weeks as she feels it will heal without so much stress on it.  So tomorrow I am off to buy a cane, I need one that makes me look young... lol.  Then I have to get ex rays of my knee and leg and then I get to go to work, what an awesome day I have ahead of me, I can't wait.  Now onto a topic that my sister and I discussed.  

My sister asked me yesterday morning what was worse, using bad addictions (whatever they are) to deal with pain?  Which I don't see that people are all that happy with their addictions, she agreed. Then she said or is it really better to deal with the pain in a good way (by whatever method, ie counseling, exercising, writing) and yet still not be all that happy either.

I'm not even sure how to answer that, just because I have spent this last year working non stop with counseling, blogging, cleanses, mentor groups.  I have worked on a lot of good things this year; it's true I'm further along but I'm still nowhere near as happy as I want to be and know I can be, as I have felt sheer and blissful joy.  I know it exists, so I am always hopeful that I will have it again and soon.

I haven't answered this for myself yet though, I waffle between getting through the pain by all the best methods positively but I don't always succeed and I fall back to those addictions that help to numb me so I don't feel everything so easily, like eating the wrong food, watching TV just so I don't have to think of anything important.  I have done much worse a few years ago but I have learned from those choices... I want to look back in 6 months, a year and see that I have even grown further from this.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield

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