Taking Time For Me

The only thing that matters now is my mission.  Nothing will stand in the way anymore.

I know it has been sometime, I have been taking time for me, first and foremost I have not had a panic attack since Saturday night, I am hoping they are behind me... I really think a lot of it had to do with worrying about my David and lack of sleep... David seems to be getting a little better everyday and I have been getting to bed at a ridiculously early time the past few nights... yesterday my head hit the pillow by 8:30 pm.  With all this going on, I have not been exercising as much as I like, I am getting back to that tomorrow and then I am officially joining The Canada Games Center on Friday, I am beyond thrilled about that.  I went up for the official tour with Valentina on Monday and I fell in love with the place.  It has every imaginable activity for me to get involved with... I love the walking/running track and I can take Zumba twice a week for sure, maybe even more... Valentina is especially thrilled about being able to swim so much.

Also, I have been trying to catch up on all the blogs I follow and that has been no easy feat to say the least. Some of the blogs I follow didn't get comments, especially if there was more than one entry, due to the fact that I would never be able to catch up otherwise but I did read everyone's posts.  I wanted to comment as I am the girl who LOVES to comment... I like people to know I was there, reading it and how they touched me.  However; I will have to give myself a break and understand it is not always possible to comment on every single post that is written, I do have to work and be a mama as well. I hope you all understand and I will try not to let them build up again, life takes over occasionally.
So, today I decided to wear a dress to work, I rarely do that, mainly because I walk a fair distance usually and I don't like being all dressed up and sweaty... today I took the bus.  I was pleasantly surprised by all the comments if not slightly embarrassed.  I do like to look nice but because I exercise so much I rarely do anything more than put a pony tail in my hair and apply a little lipstick... which never stays on for long.  Once I am going to the center every evening, I have decided that I am going to take the bus in the morning so that I can do my hair, wear a little make up, and besides I will be carrying all my gym items as I plan to stay on the bus after work and go out there directly every night.

This way both Valentina and I will get to exercise together and I won't be taking more time away from her... I will be able to relax a little more in the morning and not run out the door at 6:15 am.  I am looking forward to having a little more time where I am not feeling so rushed.  Besides winter is just around the corner and I want to make sure that she and I are in a good groove when the bad weather hits.  I still plan to walk a little here and there, especially as long as the streets are clear of snow and ice but I won't be at the mercy of the weather anymore and that will be wonderful.
I have to say something, I am getting the most confusing and mixed up messages that I have ever had in my life. Lately all I have been doing is trying to decipher what is going on, it is like hot and cold... have you ever been in that situation?  I sometimes have no idea if I am coming or going, not sure which is up or which is down? The answer lies in asking some questions, getting some clarity but how do I get that when I am not the one that can give the answers and the answers don't seem to be forthcoming?  It's almost as if the confusion lies with them too... All I know is my head is spinning and frankly I will need to focus on myself for awhile... Hopefully this situation will resolve itself in time.... I know it will eventually, this can only go on for so long before I end up taking matters into my own hands and requesting some real answers... The kind that skirting around them won't work eventually...
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future  

32 comments :

  1. I'm so glad you're taking control of your fitness and you're staying so motivated. Personally, I'm pretty lazy so I never stay on that kind of routine.

    It's good that you'll be able to spend more time with Valentina and still be able to work out. Sounds like you're balancing out your life quite nicely!

    As for your confusion, that's tough. But eventually you will need to demand answers. It isn't fair for anyone to be left confused like that. I wish you the best of luck!

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    1. Thank you Jaimie... I was never this dedicated to exercise until now... it is possible when you are ready;-)

      As for the confusion.. I will demand answers eventually... I am letting them balance life out for the moment,however; the time will come :-/

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  2. i Love it Launna =) you write beautifully =)and your writings are very inspiring and worth reading =)
    Hugs

    http://anotsosecretlife2011.blogspot.com/

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    1. Awe Nana, thank you... I truly appreciate your comment :)

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  3. Sweetie you MUST show us a bit of yourself...please. I am dying here with curiosity...I really want to see how much weight you've lost...to be honest I am sure it will inspire me to walk more than I do....Kisses and congrats on....your life.

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    1. Haha Petronela, thank you... I'll send you a picture through FB... I just don't think it shows how much I've lost... I'm self critical ;-)

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  4. Congrats again on the weight loss and the fitness. As I've said, you really do inspire. I've even begun thinking of getting an elliptical! As far as the hot and cold, up and down feelings, I've been there. It's tough BUT take control of it and remove yourself from whoever is making you feel that way.

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    1. Thank you Keith... unfortunately I may have to remove that person... I'm trying hard to be understanding :-/

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  5. How awesome that you have found a way to work out and still spend all that time with Valentina. And just remember -- you didn't put the weight on in a week -- and you won't take it off in a week either. Just keep up the good work. Exercise really does help relieve the stress of life.

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    1. Thank you Kc... lucky for me I don't want to lose all of my excess weight or I would get very discouraged... so far so good though ;-)

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  6. I think it is great that you already have in place an alternate way to get your exercise in when winter arrives. When the snow and ice arrive, I have a really tough time getting motivated to exercise. That's one of the reasons I like spring so much, I think.

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    1. Thank you Daisy... I don't want to fall back into bad patterns just because it is winter.... I want to keep exercising ;-)

      Everyone I know say summer is the hardest time to lose weight, that is when I started, that is when I catapulted my life changes... I just want to keep up with it forever :)

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  7. First of all TAKE IT EASY! If you have had panic attacks you need to tread lightly around the gym to see if you are ok. It is very good that you are taking up exercise and I hope you have the strength to stay committed to it! Zumba is a really good way to exercise without getting bored!I usually give up running because it's boring. Also I know what you mean with the hot and cold. There are times I am not sure if I am imagining things and "hearing what I want to hear". Asking questions is the ONLY way to resolve this but you have to be prepared for the answers!
    (Sorry for the lengthy comment but well...you had a lot I could comment on!!!)

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    1. Thank you Anna ... I really appreciate the comment ;-)

      I definitely don't want to be bored with exercise... I love walking/running ... just not on a treadmill (lol)...

      Also, I will deal with the issue... as soon as I can... just trying to prepare myself for some hard answers :-)

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  8. Great post...I love the way you write!

    Xoxo!

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    1. Thank you Fashion Lover, you are very sweet... I value your comment :)

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  9. Lipstick does wear off so quickly, doesn't it?

    Dressing up is nice, glad you got a little spoiling with yours. :)

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    1. Thank you Rosey... starting yesterday I'm getting dressed up for work, make and all.. it was nice ;-)

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  10. Hi my dear Launna! I'm glad to hear that you're taking time for yourself. It's always a good thing to work in ourselves both physically and spiritually.
    Love reading your post, as always <3
    Lots of love

    Deb

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    1. Than you so much Deb... I love reading your comments :)

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  11. Taking time out for us...great advice. Hugs Launna from my heart to yours. Happy Friday to you.

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    1. Thank you Nikki.. Hugs from me to you too...Happy Friday!!!

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  12. Sounds to me like you're still in control of your life and making great decisions. Good for you. Ever onward.

    Happy weekend!

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    1. Thank you so much Susan... I'm happy you and the hubby are back to walking... awesome :-)

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  13. I would add yoga into your routine. My wife Jilda is a yoga therapist at a local drug and alcohol rehab center and she specializes in military people with post traumatic stress.
    I think it might be just the ticket to help agains anxiety attacks.
    R

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    1. Thank you Rick... as soon as I get my knees under control I plan to take yoga... I hear it's so great for your muscles and breathing;-)

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  14. awww i follow many blogs but i have no time to read and comment all of them. you are so awesome that you can do it :D thank you for all your sweet comments on my blog ;) i always love to read what Launna said xD

    visit my blog ^_^
    www.LuchLuchCraft.com
    My online store ^_^
    www.TokoLuchLuchCraft.biz

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    1. Thank you Inge... I love to comment... I don't always have the time to but I try ;-)

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  15. It's so good that your still motivated and taking more time for yourself. Reading blogs, commenting etc is great fun but you must always make sure you get your priorities right first, then you can entertain yourself blogging away all day when you can.
    Summer has quickly turned into winter and at least you'll be fit and ready to take it all on. Keep it up Launna, you are a great example of inspiration.

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    1. we thank you Rum-Punch, I am grateful that I have been an inspiration ... however; I am just being myself. I won't be giving up, I will be on this life style change for the rest of my life :)

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  16. Somehow I missed this post! I read your next one first, so I already knew about you joining the club.

    I am so happy that you and Valentina will be working out and getting to spend more time together.

    I think the mixed messages are because the person doesn't quite know who you are now. You have changed. They haven't gotten to know the new you yet. You are so much more sure of yourself. You are in charge of your life! When you are ready ask the questions!

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    1. Thanks Betty... I asked the hard questions... then I got more confusing answers... oh well... I will give them time to get themselves together.

      Valentina has been out swimming twice, she would live in the water if she could :)

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤