The only thing that matters now is my mission. Nothing will stand in the way anymore.
The difference with the losses I have had in the past is that I never incorporated exercise into the mix... and not just exercising once or twice a week, I mean exercising four to six times per week. Especially since I am 50 years old, I really had to drastically change my life... the weight was not going to come off by just eating a little better and exercising once or twice a week... I had to change my life totally... a complete 180 degree turn. I know, everyone is saying, isn't that difficult? You bet it was, this change has probably been one of the biggest and hardest changes in my life but I cannot begin to tell you how amazing it feels to take control of your own life. Also, I am diversifying with my walking by starting up Zumba and Yoga eventually (once my knees can handle holding the poses).
I have to say 30 minutes on the track felt like an hour long walk outside, I am going to have to dig deeper than I have ever dug in my life to make my gym experience successful. When I am walking outside, I just walk a fair distance from my house and I have no choice but to walk back to it... there is no stopping in the middle. If I want to get home, I have to walk home... with the track, I have to force myself to keep doing laps, I need to find something deep inside myself that won't allow myself to give up... just because I hit 30 minutes. I know I can walk for 50 or 60 minutes, I have done this regularly and I have done it quite quickly... My 5K is coming up in a couple of weekends and I really need to make sure I am waking a 5K regularly so that I will do well when I participate.
So, loss versus gain, after talking with my David last night, this came to mind... I have lost a great deal of weight and I have gained a great deal of confidence. I told my David last night that he lost a great deal by losing me, I put a little hehe after it but I was very serious. He agreed but I don't think he realizes how much he has lost... one day it will come to him. We talked about how close we are, how much we laugh together, how we can say anything to each other, how nothing is off limits. I also brought up the fact that it had been really hard and painful to get to this point in our relationship, how sometimes I felt it might not be worth it but that today I was grateful that we had made it through. He said that is what friends do for each other... then I said to him, I don't think you understand that most people who date as intensely as we dated, make it back to the friendship stage. However; I did tell him that I was grateful that we were different and special enough to each other that we didn't give up.
I have lost a great deal of weight but truthfully I have gained more than I ever thought I would with finally believing my worth.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥