I used to love to be organized, it was important. In the past few years it has become unimportant, where the house has become intolerable. I finally want to have my home really organized, everywhere. If I am organized in my home, I won't be so out of control in other areas of my life.
I think being organized would make me a better mother, instead of always digging or searching for items, they will all have a home. For this to work, Valentina will have to be on board. I think once she sees that she can have so much more of my time if we keep our home clean, she will hopefully pitch in and at least keep her room clean. That is a job in it's own.
So, the other thing I have been thinking about is going back to church, I have had things I have had to deal with in my life for many years. I had hoped that I would get myself together a lot sooner but somethings take longer. I never doubted the church or my testimony, I just didn't want to be held accountable for my actions... at the time, I was and am well aware I will have to deal with my own accountability. I like to believe that Heavenly Father is exactly as we all know He is, He is forgiving and understanding.
You know what helped me get to this point, my very closest friend, I shared all my innermost thoughts and actions for the past 10 years of my life and he was understanding and kind and loving, so non judgmental. I started thinking that if a person here on earth could be that loving with my faults. Then I know Heavenly Father can be lovingly forgiving to me too.
So, time for me to go back... really get involved. I know this can only help me to grow in good ways. I have learned a lot from all the challenges I have had in the past and many more in the future, I am sure. The main thing that I learned was that I have absolutely no right to ever judge another human being, I have no idea where they are at in their life and where their path is leading.
I also learned that I deserve the best, I won't except less... I am sure Heavenly Father helped my friend get that into my head. No one else ever could. I also am so grateful for my positive attitude, I know it can bother people sometimes but I am not going to change. Having my positive attitude has helped me find the path I was meant to be on.