I've known for a while that I never believed I was enough, due to how I was raised but more to how I chose or attracted people into my life. I let their story become my story and I played it over and over in my head. Believing it was true, almost. Deep down I knew that wasn't true, I knew I was here for a greater purpose and reason. I was just afraid, it was easier to live in the dark. The light brought out feelings I didn't want to deal with.
Reconnecting with David changed me, I could no longer think little of myself. He wouldn't let me continue with that story. He's told me often how wonderful and amazing I am, he wants me to feel about myself the way he sees me. David knows my past yet he doesn't believe that's who I am. He sees the real me I try to hide for fear no one would love her, he loved her enough for both of us until I believed it too. I didn't want to see her, I knew that meant changing and I was afraid of change.
What if I changed and failed? I've tried so many times before and slipped up, that was before David though and the new story he's helped me see. I am enough, I am wonderful and I truly deserve the best. I can't go back to the dark without denying what I know to be true. Each day I wake up I think of my David, my children and my very close friends. I also choose to be happy no matter what's going on with my life.
As hard as life is, there is always something to be grateful for, something to smile about. No, I do not believe life is perfect, we will have sadness but we cannot allow ourselves to wallow in it.
I'm so grateful and thankful that David came back into my life, he helped me to see the best in me, I can see nothing less now.