My Male Role Models

I am more than willing to do the work that is needed to help me grow, I believe I need to be honest and open with myself or I will always stay where I am.  I learned something today where I felt the need to have my fathers love, since I felt so unwanted and unloved by him.  When I was younger, I attempted to be the best in school, the strongest emotionally of my sisters (which I was not), I wanted to come off strong and capable of taking care of myself, to show I wasn't weak.

Why I wanted his acceptance I will never know, my father never respected a woman in his life, it was always all about him.  I ended up choosing men like him, in doing so... I just ended up disrespecting myself after each failed relationship.  I never had those men love me and only me because they didn't love their selves.

Am I angry at my father, no... I don't blame him for my terrible choices, I am an adult, I have only myself to look to.  It was just unfortunate that I never had a decent role model growing up, I had to find other male role models to follow.  Finally I chose and attracted a man who loves me, respects me, honors me and thinks I am incredibly amazing.

That is only a good thing, regardless of how we both end up in the future... I have learned to want better because of him and from him.  I refuse to accept less then the best than I deserve. The fabulous thing is that he wants me to have the best, he wants me to be happy and he wants me to respect myself. He finds the best in me when I thought it didn't exist, he showed me how wonderful, amazing and deserving I am.

I am grateful that my oldest daughter chose a man who is an amazing role model, one that loves, respects and feels she is beyond amazing.  I really hope my youngest daughter has the same strong will and chooses a man deserving of her beautiful soul.

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