I watched one my most favorite movies 'Mr Holland's Opus', I remember seeing the movie in the theater in the mid 1990's. I was totally enthralled by the movie and it is such a simple story but so compelling. I love how he evolved from doing what he thought he was supposed to be doing in life to find out that he ended up doing something much better. He enlightened children, he showed them the love of music and they in turn they loved and respected him.
I really think that is what life is about, we start out doing something we think we are supposed to do and if we are lucky enough we will actually do something that we truly end up loving and that fulfills us more. I am thinking that this is what this cleanse is about. I have never done what I really loved, I have always had to think about other people and not take chances.
One of the questions that was asked of me was when my time is up on this earth, will I regret anything and I think I would regret not taking a chance doing what I really want to do. I don't have to do it by giving up my job, I just have to give my dream some actual time. That means I will have to really organize myself and give up other things, like television. Even though I only watch an hour or so per day, that is an hour or so a day that I can give to my dream.
What is really important to me? My children, David, my family, my friends, blogging and finding things that help me to be positive and uplifting. I don't see anything in that list that involves needing very much money. Although I have to say, I have never been one that has needed a lot of money. I would much prefer having amazing relationships, not that wanting money is a bad thing, I mean if it is used to do what you love, there is nothing wrong with that.
What I really want is to have wonderful relationships with my children, I want them to both know how very much I love them and how much they were and are wanted. I have not always been the best mother, I have made mistakes and learned a lot along the way. You would think that I would have learned a great deal raising Andrea that would make me a better mother with Valentina... not so much... I am still learning as I go along. Children are different and raising them the same way is not really possible.
I also want to continue to have a really close relationship with David, I want to continue to be opened and connected with him, I want to grow even closer to him. I think it is amazing that we connected on such a deep level where we can say anything to each other and still think the other person is incredible. I have never even had that with anyone, it feels so great. I miss him so much, I cannot wait until May 10th... the good thing is I can actually email him on April 29th, even though he cannot read it until May 10th. It will be good to just put my feelings into words for him.
My family and friends are important to me, they help me to be a better version of myself as well. I am and have been extremely lucky to have fabulous people in my life who help me to see the best in myself. Now I just have to give time to my dreams, which is really giving time to myself. Neglecting myself is not going to help me or anyone else in my life.