I've learned something that I needed to learn, I have to live in the present... I've said I do but I continually look back to the past thinking I wish I could change some things. I can't keep continuing to do this, changing the past would change who I am now.
I really don't want to change who I am, I need to remember that although there were awful things that happened to me in my life, they actually helped me to be who I am. Sometimes that is so hard when there were such horrible life changing events that happened to me.
I've learned that I am not what has happened to me, I had to live my life the way that I did to learn my purpose and live in the present fully. I'm not grateful or thankful for being abused or raped but I'm stronger than I ever believed I could be. I would never have learned how much strength I had unless I lived through the challenges I did.
I have had so many lessons to learn in the past few months, some have been so painful they made me cry. Others caused me to have massive a ha moments; I really believe that those ah ha moments were worth all the pain to get to them.
The hardest part was not being able to talk to David, I have a long, long email for him when he gets home, it's easier now because I know he's not available to talk to as he is out in the backwoods with no power and sleeping in tents. Now I am going to pray and think great thoughts for him, at least I am comfortable in my home.
I am starting day 19 of my cleanse tomorrow, I plan to stay with many of the food cleanse ideas, I don't really need refined sugar in my life, I can find other alternatives. I don't need junk food, that will never help me to get to my goals. I love eating salad immensely... no more excuses. I have totally been loving the weight loss aspect and I have yet to incorporate the exercise I want and need to do. Once that one gets back into my life, there will be no stopping me.
I can honestly say that going through this cleanse has been wonderful and eye opening. I learned that I have more strength than I ever realized that I had. I want to build on that growth, I never want to forget how lucky I am to have this chance.