How much in a humans life is lost in waiting?
I know my post was all over the place yesterday, it's because my mind is on overdrive. I make a decision and within five minutes I'm doubting my choice, wondering if I can live with the consequences? Then I weigh it out in my heart and mind again, coming to the first conclusion again, only to doubt it all over again.
It's because I am not covering my feelings, so they are all over the place. I'm realizing that I trust myself so little that I keep thinking that other people know better about what's good for me. I just want to trust myself again, I want to believe in my decisions so that I don't sway from them.
It's just that I've made some pretty poor decisions in my life that I was so sure were going to be good for me and weren't. It's hard to trust myself when I've been so wrong in the past. Somehow I have to get past all that and believe in me.
I came to church this morning and heard an amazing talk, it reminded me once again that I need to be grateful and have faith. Why is that so hard for me? I have been so blessed even when I don't have enough faith. Shouldn't that be enough for me?
I need to be happy now, I need to have joy now and I need to be all that I am meant to be right now! Not when I feel the time is right!
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield