I then spent most of the day with Andrea, Paul and Jackson... we went out for Mexican food. I ate a salad without the dressing. It tasted pretty good as the chicken was moist and favorable. I went over my calories a bit today but still not too bad. I don't get weighed at work again until next Friday as I was on vacation this week but I weighed myself at home this morning and I am down 5 more pounds... that makes it a total of 15, so far.
I also spent the night copying all the blogs I follow and their links as I keep reading how GFC (Google Friend Connect) is going away... I didn't want to lose any of the people I follow and not everyone is on Bloglovin... If you would like you can follow me there. Here is the link to Bloglovin, also if you add Bloglovin to your blog, I will follow you there too.
I'm lying in bed this morning making mental notes of what I need to do today... listening to the rain against my window. Usually I love days like this as they give me an excuse to relax. However; since Andrea, Paul and Jackson are here... I would much prefer there to be nice weather so we could go out with Valentina and do things together as a family. Also, we want to take a family photo together and we want to take it outdoors.
Every time I am sure I have it together, something comes along to show me that I don't. It's not that I think I can have it all figured out as life is ever changing... no one has it all figured out (if they say they do, they are kidding themselves). What I mean by having it together is that I am emotionally strong enough to move to the next stage.
I'm not though, why cannot I not get there?... am I always going to be in this loop that never seems to end? I think I will be there until I can find answers or closure... I need that to move forward.
Until then I will just deal the highs and lows by writing and walking... I'm very dedicated to getting control of my weight. Definitely in a healthy way as I don't much care if I am 20-30 pounds over weight, as long as I am strong and healthy. I know people that are the supposedly the perfect weight but they eat the worst food and could not walk a block without wanting to pass out. Being slim does not mean you're healthy...
I happen to be a woman who embraces her curves and loves them. I like my shape, I just want a smaller version... one where I can feel comfortable while running a 5 and 10 K... but still look sexy in a dress that shows off my curves.
Eventually with my tenacity I will have both... a strong body with lots of curves. Will I then be able to free myself from the emotional loop to move forward?
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥