This time though, I am not going to eat that lack of self worth, I am not going to sit in my house because of my lack of self worth... I am going to eat healthy, I am going to walk. Regardless of how that part of me feels, I will acknowledge her but I will not feed that fear. It has taken me a long time... a very long time to stand up to that part of me and say, I know you have valid feelings but eating junk and sitting on my butt is not helping.
I have to do something different for us, I have to be strong for both of us... that little girl inside that feels worthless needs me to make things different for her.. So, no matter how hard it is, I am staying the course. Nothing and I mean nothing will get me off course this time. I am dedicated to this, dedicated to seeing this through to wherever it leads. I am grateful for my tenacity and that I dig deep and keep challenging myself.
I walked almost five miles today... I never would have thought that was possible. I did it and it was incredibly hot today, I didn't care about the heat, my sweating or my red face.. what I care about is showing that little girl inside of me that burying her feelings with food or other addictions never brought her joy, how about giving something else a try. She is hard to reach but I am not letting her win by giving up... I am going to win this time... which means she will too.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥