I didn't get much walking in today... only 30 minutes due to all the waiting around. Tomorrow I am just going to take my walk first thing in the morning, probably an hour to an hour and a half. I need to clear my head and walking does that for me. Also, tomorrow is the last day of school for Valentina, a short day but that will be when I take my walk.
I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today, mainly because I'm used to talking to my 'D' pretty well everyday, it's been a couple of days for me. I just need to hear from him... to know that everything is okay.
I have been so focused on walking and eating healthy that I haven't even realized that I've been pushing my feelings down so that I don't have to deal with them. They are still there, threatening to spill over. It's not like I think I have it all figured out because that's not even possible.
The other day my doctor asked me if I was happy? I was about to give the pat answer that of course I was... but this is my doctor, I have known her for close to 25 years... so I said, no... Isn't it possible that I could stop being sad most of the time? Instead of feeling that I walk and I write... I've already wrote once today and walked... Today it wasn't enough... today I cried...
Today I felt like doing anything but feeling, today I fought the desire to eat or use anything I could think of not to cry... Today I succeeded but what about tomorrow?
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥