There is no half way mark with me, I just let it out. I have tried to hold back tears, laughter and love... I have never been successful at any of these. My emotions are right at the surface, always one step away from being outside. Believe me, I have tried to bury them, especially the sadness... If I manage to be the least bit successful... I find out that I haven't been... it just means it comes out with more emotions that than become even more overwhelming.
When I have to let that go, it breaks me inside... I loved one man when I was 23 and I loved him for nearly 23 years... I finally stopped loving him when I told him Andrey raped me and he asked me what did I expect? I have never looked back and we were close... very close. Not as close as my David and me and David would never have said anything like that to me... Once I love someone, they really have to hurt me for me to stop loving them...
I am at crossroads where it is fast becoming all or nothing again with me.... the question is... am I willing to accept nothing in this case since I can't have all of it... ?
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥