I Am Not Broken, I Am A Human Being

I knew when I wrote my last post that there would be people who understood and just let me feel, I also knew there would be people who would feel uncomfortable with what I wrote and they would want to tell me how I should feel.  Sometimes I feel like writing a personal blog that no one else could read because there I would not feel judged, I would not feel like I had to hide how I was feeling at any given moment. Then I think, if I had that type of blog, I might get lost there... never posting here again.  At least with this one I continually try to better myself, attempt to be happy, attempt to want better.... if I had a blog where I could write whatever I felt every single day, I would wallow in the sadness.

That's why I continue to write here, I don't want to wallow in the sadness... but I need to say how I feel sometimes.  It is very hard for me to not write about what I am feeling for fear of being judged for being too sad... it's like some people don't think I have the right to be sad which makes me crazy.  No one can be happy all the time, if you are I want to know what drug you are on?  It is not natural to be elated constantly and since I have highs and lows, I write about them all. 
Believe me tomorrow or the next day, I will be in an up mood, I will be happier than I was today.  I will be working on being a better me, a more grateful me.  I believe in being grateful and thankful as I know I am blessed... but I am human, I cry, I feel sad and I need to have a place to let it out.  If I don't let it out, I would fall back on old methods of dealing and none of those were good for me.  All those old addictions that I used as coping mechanisms ultimately led me to the dark... where I was unable to see the light that was trying to get in.

Today without them, I see the light, I see that although there are tough days like this... I know that there are better days in the future.  Even though exercising has become another form of an addiction for me, it is a healthy one... I need this one to combat the old ones... otherwise I could fall back into the old ones much to easily.. At least with walking I am getting healthy, I am feeling strong, I am feeling determined and motivated.  These are all good things to aspire to... all good things to want. 

When I write posts like the last one, it gives me an outlet to feel, to cry, to be myself.   Isn't that what we all want, we just want to be able to feel and have someone say it's okay... I am not broken, I am a human being and I am the type of person that cannot hold it in, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Which I can understand is uncomfortable for others who don't do this... This is why we are all different, we all have our ways of dealing with life and it's ever changing moments.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future

18 comments :

  1. No, you're not broken. It's awesome that you have an outlet to let the sad... and the happy... out. Sharing the happiness doubles it, and sharing the sadness halves it. Seems like it, anyway.

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    1. Thank you Susan, I agree... I love this blog to be able to let my emotions out whether they are happy or sad... Mostly it is happy... we all have our days though:)

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  2. God created us unique human beings, no one can judge us, we are perfect in our imperfections ... I really like your way of writing!

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    1. Thank you Luis, I adore your comment... I appreciate the kind sweet words :)

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    1. Thank you Betty... sometimes I have to get my feelings out or they will consume me :-/

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  4. Beauty is in imperfection as Marilyn Monroe said... I really don't understand people who judge, they just thinking about them and not to anybody!
    Love you babe

    Carolina

    www.the-world-c.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you Carolina... I adore your comments, they always make me smile;-)

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  5. I think it's very important to allow ourselves to "feel" during those times rather than trying to shove the feelings aside or pertend that they don't exist. I think that's one of the reasons that writing is so cathartic.

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    1. Thank you Keith and I could not agree with you more... writing is cathartic...;-)

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  6. Hi Launna! that's absolutely right, we all human being, we have been through of bad or good thing and learn from our mistake. We keep our passion forwards and move on! Stay healthy Launna, I will too!

    New post on mine too:)

    kisses!

    http://www.attraction2fashion.com

    Tanya

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    1. Thank you Tanya...we will stay strong ;-)

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  7. Launna,
    I love your posts. Forget everyone who judges you, they aren't you and can't know how you're feeling. It is great that you are so open with how you feel and power through the fear of letting every one else know.
    You are so very strong.

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    1. Awe thank you Car... this comment means so very much to me;-)

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  8. I think you are better off being able to let your feelings out instead of trying to hold them in. Holding them in only lasts so long, eventually they have to surface somewhere.

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    1. Thank you Daisy, I totally agree... a little at a time is so much better than some other place where it could be so much worse :)

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  9. Writing a personal intimate blog about your feelings and things that go on in your life is not always easy. If family / friends know who you are or you have your picture on your blog then it can become very hard because people do like to point the finger or feel they have an unfettered right to contact you directly to give you that 'pep' talk.

    In reality, if you're not happy at times, then you're not happy at times. End of. Nobody has a right to deny you to feel this way. People like to judge others harshly, but when push comes to shove, they themselves don't like being judged.

    It's refreshing to know that someone else feels like how I feel sometimes. And it's even better to know how you coped and how you got yourself out of bad situations. If someone is not comfortable with reading your blog, then they should move on. Keep up the good work Launna.

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    1. Thank you Rum Punch... I want to be honest and open... it's nice to hear other people feel the same way I do. I love reading other people's blogs to see how they dealt with an issue... I have learned so much:)

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I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤