That's why I continue to write here, I don't want to wallow in the sadness... but I need to say how I feel sometimes. It is very hard for me to not write about what I am feeling for fear of being judged for being too sad... it's like some people don't think I have the right to be sad which makes me crazy. No one can be happy all the time, if you are I want to know what drug you are on? It is not natural to be elated constantly and since I have highs and lows, I write about them all.
Today without them, I see the light, I see that although there are tough days like this... I know that there are better days in the future. Even though exercising has become another form of an addiction for me, it is a healthy one... I need this one to combat the old ones... otherwise I could fall back into the old ones much to easily.. At least with walking I am getting healthy, I am feeling strong, I am feeling determined and motivated. These are all good things to aspire to... all good things to want.
When I write posts like the last one, it gives me an outlet to feel, to cry, to be myself. Isn't that what we all want, we just want to be able to feel and have someone say it's okay... I am not broken, I am a human being and I am the type of person that cannot hold it in, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Which I can understand is uncomfortable for others who don't do this... This is why we are all different, we all have our ways of dealing with life and it's ever changing moments.
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future ♥