Right now I'm questioning everything I've ever known. I am disappointed with myself, I really thought I knew better. I mean have I not lived a life where I've never been settled. From having to live with my abusive ex step mother Ruth, to being a single mom, to marrying Andrey who later raped me.
Where in that story could anyone see that I could still trust? Why in the world would I want to or better yet how could I want to? It boggles my mind that I could take those kinds of chances in the past. Tonight I came to a realization where my eyes were opened and what I saw made me feel stupid. I'm not saying I'm stupid, I'm not (this just made me feel that way). I just don't like finding out that what I believed and what is real, are two different things.
How could anyone who professes to care for another human being, act one way than do things the opposite. It doesn't make sense to me, I can't fathom a reason, this is why I'm becoming indifferent. I don't even know what is real or true anymore? What I lack now is trust in myself and trust in other people.
Anyway, last night has given me lots to think about and decisions to make.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield