The Crossroads I Am At

Yesterday I had a short walk, maybe 10 minutes, it was very hot... I had planned on walking later in the evening but instead I ended up talking with a friend until it was too late... This morning I woke up with the intention of going for a walk, at first I thought, I will walk later.   Right then and there I knew that if I didn't walk then, that I would come up with another excuse not to walk later... I jumped up there and then and I pulled on my yoga pants, sneakers and tank top and left the house immediately before another thought could come into my head.

I walked fast for close to 40 minutes and I walked for over two miles, I felt so much better... I came home, jumped in the shower and thought about why I was starting to come up with excuses after only one day...  I WAS the girl with all the excuses in the past, I will NOT be her again, I am not going to sit home each day when I can walk/jog/bike... whatever I need to do to become healthy.  I went off to church and had some lovely lessons/teachings taught to me... I had already prepared to walk home from church, it is a little over a mile and a half.  One lady at church told me she heard I was inspiring people to walk, I hope that my walking does inspire people.  I want everyone to feel as good about this as I do.
So, I walked home, I actually walked/ran home... it felt amazing and I was filled with gratitude that I could do this... it wasn't long ago that I had the surgery to repair my skin graft and before that I was using a cane.  I am so thankful that I can and am able to walk/jog/run... it is something that is keeping me centered, something that clears my mind and heart when I do it, hence why I do it so often.  When I don't my emotions build up to an uncontrolled state where I just cry all the time.

I know that is hard for people to hear, I am at a crossroads in my life right now... one I wish I wasn't at.  However; wishing I wasn't there doesn't change it, it means I have to make a decision and I just don't know which road I will travel... it seems like an easy decision to most people but for me it is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.  The more that it weighs on my mind, the more that I walk now, with every walk I take, I know I am preparing to choose a path to take and this time I want to take the right path.  Yet I want to keep things from the other paths... I know... it isn't possible to travel two paths, hence why I am so sad.
I feel so torn inside, have you ever known, really known where you are supposed to be... yet it isn't possible at that time, so you have to go another way... completely different than what you know in your heart?  That is what I am going through right now and my heart is breaking into a million pieces... standing at the crossroads and trying to choose what is right for me, right here and now and in the long run. I just don't know how to choose... either way is awful, either way is very sad for me... yet I am left with the choice...

Regardless of which choice I will make, I know I will be sad but I also know I will be walking/running/jogging... eventually biking.  This one path of exercise I have taken is a long term path and I feel really good about it... I hope when I finally choose the other path at the crossroads I am at now that it will be a good choice for me in the long run too...
I cherish my past, I accept my present and I dream for my future

12 comments :

  1. Good luck with whatever choice you decide upon, Launna. One thing that is true of long walks for me. They give me ample quiet time to think things over and help me clear my head of whatever is bothering me. I think it is wonderful that you are inspiring others to walk too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Daisy, I just wish one choice was better then the other one... neither one is good... either way I will be sad... I am trying to choose the one that will be less sad... :(

      I love walking/running for clearing my head... I am in the zone when I exercise, I feel so free and good... :)

      Delete
  2. You're doing way better than I am. I cant even get started. Heck my 15 stairs I go up and down daily is enough b/c I go up them seems like a hundred times a day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Laney... I started with 20 minutes... then I committed to a little each day until could do 3-4 miles or more a day... I feel awesome physically.;-)

      Delete
  3. I hope God gives you the wisdom to make the right choice for you. It sounds like you are taking your time with the choice which is good. You don't want to jump into anything that is that important to you. And when you have made the choice you will be in better physical shape since you have been working so hard and losing weight.

    I pray that you will find fulfillment in whatever you decide to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Betty... this is a very important decision for me... I will not make it lightly...

      Exercising is a MUST for me now!!!

      Delete
  4. Choices are so so difficult we will ever make mistakes....but at leas learing from them :)
    Today new post abour jewellery is on my blog what do you think?:)

    oxoxoxo
    Marie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Marie...I do learn from my mistakes.. however; I'm worried when I make this one there will be no going back....:-(

      Delete
  5. We learn from mistake but I wish you that God will put you on the right way because you are a wonderful person and He knows that <3
    Xxx my love

    Carolina

    www.the-world-c.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Carolina... you always make me cry with the sweet words you say to me;-)

      Delete
  6. Launna you're doing awesome!!! Keep inspiring!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awe thank you Susanna... I am in the zone girl... I have a few long walks planned today:)

      Delete

I love and appreciate all genuine comments, to save a little time, I won't be commenting on the comments on my blog (unless you don't have a blog), I will just visit your blog and comment there, if you have left a meaningful comment for me... I would much rather spend the time reading and commenting on a few extra blogs ❤