Plus all this pain has made me grateful that I have been so healthy and I will heal from this too. I am on an upswing, I am healing slowly... I am getting through year end without a huge meltdown. I have a great team leader who knows what I can handle and helps me to deal with what might become overwhelming.
I have been spending a lot of time with myself, just thinking, writing and reading. Which had led me to a lot of self examination of my life... not so much about my past but more about my present. I have been selling myself short, unbelievably short.... I can tell you that with that eye opening thought I will never do it again.
I will not except less than everything I deserve, I happen to believe that I deserve it no matter my past. On the other hand, people in my life are still living in the past... the way to deal with the past is to let it go. Especially if it is a bad past. Who cares about what happened in the past, you are not there anymore, you are here... you are better off in the present. That was a hard lesson for me to learn but I have that now.
I cherish my past, I accept my present, I dream for my future.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield