What I find hard is forgiving myself... I don't know why I can seem to forgive other people so much easier than I do for me. I expect so much of myself, I have an impossibly high bar. When I make mistakes as we all do since we are human, I seem to be much more harsher on myself.
I forgive Andrey for everything he did to me, the nasty words, the shoving, the slapping and the rape. He holds no power over me, I am free from him... why would I want to hold on to hate, he would own me... Andrey will have to deal with what he did to me, none of it will come from me... I think it will come in the form of losing Valentina when she is older and she finds out what he did to me. That little girl loves her papa but she loves me and doesn't like when someone hurts me. I will want her to forgive him though, I don't want her living with hate.
He never judged me or said an unkind word to me in all the time I have known him... I just wonder because I have had a hard time loving and forgiving myself, so I can't fathom how he or others could... I know I am a good and kind person, who would much rather hurt myself than to hurt another person, so for this reason I work daily to let it go and not let it eat me up inside.
I really need to work on forgiving me, I was in pain... I didn't know how to deal with it.... if I can forgive other people, I should be able to forgive myself in time...
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield