So my ex to be (Andrey) just advised me that the hospital/jail may be letting him out within a month. I was pretty upset as I don't trust him when he's not locked up since he probably won't take his medication and he'll start drinking again. I just love the justice system, the best thing is that it seems no one in authority is going to tell me. Even after the police told me that they felt I was at the top of the list for being re-offended by him again. They think that since I stood up to Andrey that he will retaliate against me.
I'm going to hope that Andrey messes up before he gets out, he always seems to screw up. I will make sure that I'm not alone where he could get to me as I honestly don't trust him. He's a scary individual, especially when he starts drinking excessively. I won't be anywhere without my blackberry, not that I ever am but I'm going to be totally aware of my surroundings.
I already see how it upsets him that he has lost control of me. That ship has sailed, I will not sit idly by and bow down to any of his demands. Sometimes he tries to put me down but I just smile and remember every soft, kind and gentle word from my David. I don't believe a word coming out of Andrey's mouth, I believe my David.
Basically I know that Andrey comes from a place where he lacks love for anything or anyone, mainly himself. The only reason a person could hurt another person the way that Andrey has hurt me is that he lacks love, doesn't believe he is worthy of love so he lashes out. It was so difficult to handle for me but I really know and believe this.
I have to forgive him for me to move on, does that mean I have to trust him to not hurt me, that would be foolish and I don't plan to be that mindless. I do forgive him for if I didn't he would continue to have power over me and I no longer want him to have any control over me.