I cried today because of fear, fear can be so strong even when it's unrealistic. I think I had this fear today because I keep centering myself on the path I know I'm meant to be on. Fear doesn't want us to be happy, fear wants us to stay in fear. For if we rise above it, it has no power over us.
I realized I have to continue on this path no matter what happens around me. I cried because there is something I want more than anything I've ever wanted and I have to let it go and allow it to happen or not happen and be happy no matter how it turns out.
I have to give up the control and trust that everything will work out the way it's meant to. That isn't easy, none of us like to feel like we are out of control but the truth is if we were always in control we would never grow. How happy would we be without the growth we need to be able to progress.
What is my largest fear, I'm going to write it here so that it won't have power over me. I'm afraid that David will not have missed me as much as I missed him; I'm afraid that we will have lost that closeness we have had. That's not true, David feels as close to me as I feel towards him. No matter where our path leads, he and I will ALWAYS be close to each other.
I want much more with him as I love him more than I have ever loved any man. He means so much to me that I cannot put into words. I have to let that desire go and leave that with God/Universe for even though I know we should be together, I cannot make him see this.
He can only come to this on his own. Regardless of the decision he makes down the road, I will always love him and I will always be there for him. I will never turn away from him, he made me realize how special I was in my greatest time of need. I hope he understands how special he is and how he deserves only the best.