This post is inspired by a comment left by one of the people that reads my blog. She said she didn't believe in the fairy tale of love, after these past few months I have wanted to not believe either but I can't say that. Love exists, what I have/had with David was and is real, I didn't imagine all those beautiful and amazing feelings. Unfortunately dreams change, it is difficult when they change from what we know they should be.
I know my posts have been a little emotional and I am sure they will be for a little while. Love doesn't go away easily, at least not with me. When I love someone, I love them with my entire heart and soul and the truth is that even though it has not worked out the way that I know it was meant to with David, it doesn't mean that it shouldn't have. What it means is that people have their own agency and their own fears that they have to get past.
What I had to come to terms with this week is that I needed to figure out if I was strong enough to still be friends with David and I am. My heart that is broken right now would never be able to heal without him in my life. He believes in me, he centers me and he says I am his strong girl. In the past I used to stuff all my feelings inside me, using many ways not to deal with what I was going through but because I have David there, I talk to him, he listens. I never want to disappoint him.
I am lucky, luckier than even David... I have so many people in my life who pray for me, think positive and uplifting thoughts for me, who want the best for me. I have people all over the world and I have my strength in what I know is true. I am not alone and I know that I am extremely blessed. David doesn't have all this, I will never let him feel alone. Regardless of how sad I have been and how emotional my life is right now, I know that I will get through, I always find a way.
I believe in love, it does exist, I have felt it and I still do.