I've been out of sorts for the past day. Feeling anxious, frustrated and fearful. I don't know why I allow myself to feel that when I know deep down that everything will work out as it should. I guess I wasn't having enough faith that it will work out perfectly. I have to sit back, relax and enjoy the journey, it will lead me to where I want and need to be.
I lost my way for a bit, damn fear... then again, without fear we can't move ahead and grow to our potential. It's me that limits my growth, the fear is there to show me changes are coming. If I think of it that way, it can be exciting... I just need to have faith and believe.
I have known for a long time where I should be, I've just been too rebellious to follow. I needed to go back to church, I finally humbled myself and I went back. It's been wonderful being back, the people there are loving, kind and forgiving. I am grateful to my friends who supported me in going back, especially people who who have their own beliefs. I always let people have their own beliefs and I am thankful my friends are the same way.
I'm such a teenager in my mentality sometimes, I want what I want, when I want it. When I don't get it immediately, I stomp off and go my own way. Really? I need to change that attitude, it holds me back from growing and having what I ultimately want. All of this comes down to faith, I need to trust and believe that I will have exactly what I need at the right time. My tangents have only brought pain and sorrow, hopefully I've finally learned that lesson;).
For today as this is all I have, I will have faith, be happy, be grateful, be loving and kind. I will live in the present! The past is gone and cannot be changed, my future isn't written yet, it will come from the way I live my present.