I am attempting to prepare myself to deal with and hopefully learn something about myself for when I start the cleanse... challenge. I have been letting people know about what I am doing, they are more shocked than me, they don't think that I will make it... they don't know me. I am tenacious, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything. Yes, I am a not thrilled with giving up a lot of my comforts, mainly David but I will do whatever I need to do to learn about myself so that I can alter my behavior and become a better me.
Besides, David is one of the only people who thinks I can do this, I don't like to disappoint him, I will prove him right. I like being the best me where he is concerned. I have changed a lot of my behavior because he saw the good in me. I was unable to see that good... I was sure that it didn't even exist within me. Thankfully I was wrong, he was right... I am unbelievably grateful that he was sent to me, given to me when I most needed him.
I just heard something interesting... it was that many people feel inadequate, that is how I felt for so many years, I am still dealing with that feeling of lack, deficiency and incompetency. Which then causes me to feel guilt. Why do I feel guilt? I think, who am I to feel lack, deficient and incompetent when I have been so incredibly blessed.
Yes I have had horrible and awful events happen to me but they do not make me who I am... I am truly better than that, sometimes it is so hard to remember that when I allow myself to feel inadequate. I am so strong most of the time... I just want to stay strong... I don't want to give into my feelings. I am more than adequate.