I just needed to have someone see the best in me, someone who wouldn't say that how I was acting was okay but someone who wouldn't judge me, just love me and understand that all I really needed was to be heard and loved. You know what feels really good, having no secrets anymore. I have other peoples secrets and that is fine but I have finally let my best and closest friend see the real me and he still loves me.
It was exactly what I needed to alter my thoughts and realize that I was letting secrets keep me hostage. Now I am free and so happy that I finally see that my past behavior doesn't define me but I do see where I allowed it go on much longer than it should have because I felt I had no choice.
Now that I have allowed myself to realize that I am the only one that is in control of my life, it feels like a darkness has been lifted. I have often wondered what my purpose was in this life, I think part of it is to show other people that they are in control of their lives and they can make the changes needed to have a better life, without judging them in any way.
I always had the power, it was inside me.