Starting with always being on my toes with my ex step mother Ruth who used any excuse in the book to just ridicule, slap or spank us. Once my younger sister received a spanking for breaking an elastic band, yes an elastic band. One Easter we all received the same coloring book and one of my sisters drew a hat on a character, my sister had to copy it in all three books. We were not allowed to color outside the lines. That is crazy, I encourage my children to be individuals and definitely color outside the lines, who cares.
I had to deal with that crazy, more like psychotic woman for 10 years of my life. It was like walking on egg shells and praying you wouldn't crack them. She seriously had mental issues, you would have to, to treat children the way she did, I honestly thought she gained pleasure from it (maybe she did), now I think she was coming from a place of lack, still that's no excuse.
When I was younger I could not fathom why this woman (my ex step mother), could possibly hate us so much that she felt it was okay to abuse us. Her excuse later in life was that my father ran around on her. Ummm, and this was our fault, why? Then as I got older I realized there was no good excuse and finally I believe that she came from a place of lack. She is a very unhappy woman and it showed throughout my time of knowing her.
I gave up on hating her, that was a waste. Instead I am stronger than that... she does not matter, nor does she define who I am in my life. I no longer care what she said and don't waste too much time thinking of her, she is really not worth my time. I sometimes ponder what could possibly make her behave the way she did? I have no answers though because I cannot think the way she did and that is actually good.
I guess I answered that question then, I write to give myself a voice!
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield