I Can Stop Blaming Myself Now

I have had a massive epiphany tonight, I got the answer to a question.  I so desperately want to talk to my David to tell him.  He thought we had discussed it and I couldn't remember but tonight I remember that we did talk about it but it was at a time I was quite upset.

I heard what he said but I didn't take it in, tonight I replayed that conversation and the answer was right there.  I always thought it was because of me that it didn't work out.  I thought it was my scars or that I was overweight, it had nothing to do with me, it was all to do with him.

I took on the blame for our relationship not working when I didn't do anything wrong.  By holding onto the blame, I was unable to replay the conversation that held the key, until tonight.

I'm happy to remember it finally, it helps me to think better thoughts of myself, where I have been so mean to myself lately.  I've been least loving to myself, that's going to change.

I don't know how I can be so happy and so sad at the same time.  I'm happy to finally have that answer but I'm sad because I have this great desire to share this with my best friend and I can't right now.

Hopefully soon, I really pray.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield


  1. Hello Launna:
    You must be very careful to try not to attach any blame for the breakdown of any relationship as it can become so very destructive. It is really important to attempt to move on.

  2. Thank you Jane and Lance, it's not that I'm blaming David, it's more that I stopped blaming myself. I couldn't move on until I finally stopped blaming me.

  3. The best way to move forward is to be able to understand and let go of the past. It sounds like you have accomplished that. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult and painful time. I hope things get better for you.

    1. Thank you Daisy, it is painful but compared to what other people are going through, I know mine are minor, it's still hard though. I'm working on getting through:).


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