I wrote a blog last night, got ready to post it; I didn't feel it. So, I saved it and I went to bed very early around 8:30 pm. Woke up at 3:00 am and I was just scanning through my Facebook and my "D" had posted that his 21 year old son had a stroke. This is what is important in life, people, not things... I need to be able to somehow comfort my "D", I am so sick with worry and I feel so useless, I can't help my "D" from here.
I did go back to bed and slept until 15 minutes before I had to leave this morning. I'm so grateful it's Friday, I really need this weekend, I slept a ridiculous 10 hours last night and I'm still not totally awake.
I'm sure once I start this 90 day cleanse my body will even be more exhausted and I will require more sleep then I usually do. I think it will be good for my body, I really need to treat me better. I usually take my hurt and pain out on my physical and emotional self. I usually over indulge, I rarely allow my body sleep and I tell myself mean things. I need to be more kind and loving to myself. If someone treated me the way I treated me, I would tell them where to go quickly.
Why do we give ourselves permission to be so cruel to ourselves? Is this world not cruel enough to us as it is? I haven't figured out how to change my behavior yet but I'm not giving up. I will find out why, I deserve better than what I've accepted.
Well my first test at running a short span, three blocks. I am out of shape but that will all change; I know I'll need to build up my stamina over time. I was just running to catch the bus, too out of breath for that short of distance, we all have to start somewhere.
Once I start the cleanse as I find tasty healthy recipes I will share them through a link on my blog. Feel free to send me a link to some recipes, keep in mind, no wheat/dairy/refined sugar. Yes I know, that sounds difficult, it's not, I did it for 30 days and actually enjoyed it as I felt much better. 90 days should have me on a good path for success.
I'm going to have a before and after picture taken, I will share once I feel more comfortable. This is a lot for me, I don't take very many pictures of myself but for this, I feel it is important so that I can see from the beginning and not just guess.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield