It's hard to put my words down today, I have been working so hard at being positive and happy, this week has made that great attitude almost impossible to keep lately. Sometimes when life throws us a loop, it takes massive strength to get through.
David and everyone says I'm strong; this past week I don't feel the least bit strong. I feel weak, wondering if I'm ever going to feel that happiness that alludes me. I know from past experiences that it always gets better but this is huge.
It's so difficult when I have these doubts, they almost drown me. I feel lost and wishing I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. There's always a light right? It seems I need reassurance, which makes me sad, I should have more faith.
I'm going to put my heart and soul into the running club, I have to put it somewhere, my heart doesn't seem to have a purpose. So, I'm giving it something to focus on, to stop it from feeling the pain it feels right now. Also as soon as I get my bonus I am going to start a 90 day cleanse and the only media I am going to allow myself is blogging and email.
I'm writing a gratitude/thankful post tonight. I'm going to write a list throughout the day, whenever I think of something wonderful. I'll post that later tonight. Blessings really need to be counted to be remembered and recognized.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield