I think writing the last post I wrote finally helped me to sleep. It would be so much better if I could say it to him, I have to learn to have patience (something I lack). Maybe all this is happening to teach me to be patient.
I remember the saying that goes something like this 'humble yourself or the Lord will humble you and it will be harder to bear'. I'm beginning to think I have had to learn patience and I have fought it, wanting what I wanted, no matter the consequences, now I'm having to be patient for something very important to me.
It's a rainy day in Nova Scotia, kind of matching my heart right now. The sun will rise again and my heart will heal. I don't know if it will heal enough to ever love another man but I know it will heal. I have to have faith and believe that everything will work out and something wonderful will come along to make me laugh and smile again.
It must be the song I'm listening to 'Everybody Hurts' by REM, makes me know that we are all the same, we all hurt, we can all heal and we'll all feel love again. It's a part of life to be sad to find a way to be happy in spite of it and to find true joy.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield