This past 10 days or so have been one epiphany after another, sometimes good, sometimes difficult, mostly eye opening. I have such a bad track record with men, they have either been men who have be mean or abusive or men that are emotionally incapable of taking the next step forward.
I guess that says a lot about me, I keep choosing these men. Do I like a challenge? Or more likely I lack self esteem:(. I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix that default in me; however, I suppose I wouldn't learn the lesson I so desperately need to learn to get to the next level.
It seems as humans that we always want the easy way out. Life throws us one curve after another and instead of learning the lesson we become angry, sad and despondent.
This makes the lesson so much harder to learn and if truth be known, if we don't learn it there, we will have to learn it down the road eventually. This is hard for me since I seem to think I know what's best for me.
I rarely know what's best for me and usually what I fight against ends up being the best thing for me. I just always have to take the long hard road and I sincerely want to take the easier path. It's about time that I learn to trust that God/Universe knows what I need.
I need to start somewhere, I need to trust, even if just a little. I might be pleasantly surprised.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield