I seriously have to write tonight, I have been antsy and unsettled. I'm not even sure if I should blog actually, I am in a really odd mood. I just feel if I don't write it down, I might blow up and say something worse and then really regret it. I think part of this mood is that I am sidelined, my lower leg has a gaping whole with an infection, I can't go to work, I am stuck at home, resting... I'm one of those social people who needs people, I am okay by myself for a day but I really need the interaction.
Anyway, the reason I am so antsy is that I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, it won't go away. I feel like I am being selfish sometimes and I don't want to be that way. I just feel like I am over filled with thoughts that I just need to spill out and I only want to spill it out with one person. I have written a little more than usual because I have so much going on in my mind that I need to get it out. Otherwise I would never sleep.
I am worried about David's son Chris, I still haven't talked with him so I have no idea what is happening, I just want to be there for David since he is having such a difficult time, I guess I am being there for him by giving him his space. Yeah for me for being respectful when the old me would have emailed him and and begged him to talk to me, I am being a grown up what a novel thought.
Okay, I got a little of my overwhelming thoughts out of my head, I am still starting the 90 day cleanse on Monday; which I am looking forward to. I like being accountable, this is why Weight Watchers always worked for me. I am going to write down everything I eat, which will only be healthy food since I won't be eating any wheat, refined sugar or dairy. That is pretty well, vegetables, fruit and meat. All natural, no boxed or canned food.
I can't start running yet and I am pretty disappointed about that but I will just have to wait to heal. I am looking forward to starting, I am going to take it slow and build up but I really want to do a run before the year is out, at least a 5 K one. I just really want to be healthy, I don't want to get winded from running a few blocks and I want to feel stronger.
So, I am looking forward to writing some really positive and uplifting posts as I go through the cleanse, I love how I feel when I am eating properly, my body loves me when I treat it right. Once I start running I will update you with my progress, each little milestone. I hope I will be inspiring, so I can have the inspiration to keep up with it, I am really excited about these changes.
I have been thinking of a few things that I would like to do before I am 50, I think I will write a list of what I would like to accomplish, if I don't get through it all I can do it before I am 51, I just want to have some goals... it will make me feel good.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield